on devotion
I stretch towards spring like a cat reaching for that patch of sunlight streaming in through the window. I yearn for it endlessly and yet it remains just out of reach. It’s in touching distance. I see pictures on Substack from people in other corners of the world documenting how spring has already arrived for them, earlier than here and it makes me ache. Here in Denmark, Spring is dragging its heels, we linger in the in-between.
on giving yourself permission
I have felt a deep yearning for the crispness of autumn recently. Summer has come late this year to Copenhagen, and with it I feel a kind of fatigue that I find hard to put into words. As much as I love the endless days of the summer months (when we are lucky to get them here), I find the novelty wears off quickly. Having grown up in rainy Scotland, I am not used to so many days of good weather in a row. I am sure many other Brit’s will attest to this feeling of ‘making the most’ of the weather whenever we are blessed with sun.
on figuring it out together
I realised I’ve been hiding. Not just from the world but from myself as well. Somewhere along the way I got caught up in all the things I don’t have, or wish were different, and instead of having curiosity about what changes I could make, I dug the hole deeper and deeper until I could no longer see the light. It happens so easily, one day you are just acknowledging a frustration, the next you are embodying it. I allowed it to bury me because I forgot that I have a choice.
on feeling all that is to be felt
I think Sundays are becoming my favourite day of the week. Since moving house, I've been able to truly prioritise the things that feel so meaningful to me that I have been unable to for a while. Working two jobs and splitting my free time between two different homes did not leave much space for consistency. I may only have one job and one home now, but I still have a plenty of feelings. I always will.
on the making of meaning of this.
“I'm trying to get through without only feeling like I am passing time.”
This line hit me, putting into words a feeling that I have felt for so long without fully understanding it. I think so many of us spend our lives just passing time without realising it. Held back by all these narratives we've collected about why right now isn’t the perfect time is to do any of the things that might bring us meaning. That this moment cannot be woven with magic and joy because of all our responsibilities that come from elsewhere. It's not our fault, not at all.
on remembering where it all began
It has been an incredibly long time since I picked up this notebook. I used to spend hours, once a week nestled within its pages, but somehow I was surprised at how many pages were filled with my words when I opened it back up this morning. I forgot how often I found my way here, sharing whatever truth was in my heart that day. I’m realising that the key for my not having shown up here for so long, most likely lies in the fact that I think I lost sight of why I truly wrote here at all.
on coming home
have not logged onto this site in a scary amount of time, have not felt able to for so many reasons. I didn’t really know if I had anything to say. I had been so proud of myself for the way I had been showing up here, as often as I did and for how long I kept it up for. But that pride has also kept me away for a long time too. I have been scared that if I did try to come here again and see if I had something I might want to share with you, that it might be short lived. That maybe I would not make it back here for a long time again.
on forming your own definitions
Fearing gently
bask in your light
On holding reverence
the things you can only see when you slow down
on metamorphosis
on forgetting to choose life
homecoming
on what to say when you have nothing to say
on taking care of yourself
love yourself
You have time
