On holding reverence
this week has seen anxiety that has been locked inside of me for months slowly begin to seep out of my bones. it has been a week of release and the consequential extra care of myself that I’ve needed. I’ve had to remind myself many times that these things take time, to be kind to myself as I let all that tension go at its own pace. it would have been very easy for me to fall into a pattern of self deprecation and negative self talk in the aftermath of this release, I’ve had to stop myself a couple of times from berating myself for letting such irrationality consume me. instead I have been trying to return to holding reverence for myself and my body.
my loves, if we do not hold reverence for ourselves we will never be able to truly embody our light. if we never acknowledge what a unique blessing we are in this world and we cannot share that blessing. It’s impossible to share something with those around us that we refuse to acknowledge exists. I’ve come to realise that in refusing to look my anxiety in the eye, I wasn’t able to see the true root of it. Its story was unclear and its fog was seeping deeper and deeper into my being, whispering tales of my not enough Ness and unworthiness of the things I hold dearest in my life. In refusing to closely examine the root of this voice I was accepting it as my own. These narratives have not allowed me to hold any kind of reverence for myself for longer than I’d like to admit. it’s been painful to come to understand the ways in which I have become shut off from myself and the world around me because of this. sitting with this pain and gently exploring the ways that has manifested in my body and my soul has been pretty exhausting but it’s the only way I know how to lead me back home to myself. I’ve needed so much nurture from myself, had to shower myself with kind, caring words over and over again. I’ve had to gently shift my focus away from belittling myself towards holding reference once more. So here’s a gentle reminder from me to you on the true blessing each one of us are in this world. I hope it brings you the same healing energy set it has brought me to write it.
dear and beloved friend, my soul acknowledges and cherishes the light of your soul. The light that is so uniquely your own, that shines in a way that no one else’s can. I am so deeply grateful for the way you choose to share your blessed light with the world, it is a gift. I never want you to forget that. There will be things in this life that will try to dim your light, smother it with pain and harsh judgements. sometimes you will unconsciously do so yourself. Sometimes it will be the only way you know how to exist in this world. My love, that is okay. the things you feel you need to do to survive or a testament to your strength and tenacity, even in the moments you feel most weak. To be able to continue shining any light at all in the world that will try anything to smother it is proof that you are alive and well at the very heart of you. It does not matter so much how brightly you shine as your choice and determination to do so despite the darkness that lurks in all. It does not matter how far your light reaches or how many souls it touches if you are not first allowing yourself to bask in a soft, warm glow. If you do only one thing for yourself today, let it be this.
take a quiet moment alone, get comfortable and breathe into the blessing of your light. Watch it flourish and grow as you focus your energy on holding reverence for it. Feel how it feels to truly experience yourself, your own Blessed energy. Let it to seep into every inch of your being. Ask it what it needs to shine brightly and authentically. Then make the time to do those things. Ask what is trying to dim it and vow to work on letting those things go. This light is your life force, your compass. Let it guide you to where you need to go, towards all the spaces and places and souls that will allow it to shine it’s brightest. Listen to all the wisdom you hold in your being and see yourself for the true blessing that you are. This light is a safe and honest space that is all yours to explore, ask questions and allow it to guide you gently to the answers. Trust in your ability to find your right way, trust in the deep knowing you hold within you. Gift yourself the time and space to sit with it. Bask in your light, hold reverence for it in your heart and you can never truly go wrong.
You are light,
you are love,
you are blessed.
I pray you never forget that.
happy friday my loves x
if you want to hear more about my journey towards a more authentic existence, follow me on instagram @the.authenticity.project and on medium . see my photography work on instagram @s.ophiea.lice and connect with me on linkedin.
big love to you all x