on feeling all that is to be felt
I think Sundays are becoming my favourite day of the week. Since moving house, I've been able to truly prioritise the things that feel so meaningful to me that I have been unable to for a while. Working two jobs and splitting my free time between two different homes did not leave much space for consistency. I may only have one job and one home now, but I still have a plenty of feelings. I always will.
on the making of meaning of this.
“I'm trying to get through without only feeling like I am passing time.”
This line hit me, putting into words a feeling that I have felt for so long without fully understanding it. I think so many of us spend our lives just passing time without realising it. Held back by all these narratives we've collected about why right now isn’t the perfect time is to do any of the things that might bring us meaning. That this moment cannot be woven with magic and joy because of all our responsibilities that come from elsewhere. It's not our fault, not at all.
on coming home
have not logged onto this site in a scary amount of time, have not felt able to for so many reasons. I didn’t really know if I had anything to say. I had been so proud of myself for the way I had been showing up here, as often as I did and for how long I kept it up for. But that pride has also kept me away for a long time too. I have been scared that if I did try to come here again and see if I had something I might want to share with you, that it might be short lived. That maybe I would not make it back here for a long time again.
love yourself
on finding a new default
sunday
on being here, now
