on the making of meaning of this.
“I'm trying to get through without only feeling like I am passing time.”
This line hit me, putting into words a feeling that I have felt for so long without fully understanding it. I think so many of us spend our lives just passing time without realising it. Held back by all these narratives we've collected about why right now isn’t the perfect time is to do any of the things that might bring us meaning. That this moment cannot be woven with magic and joy because of all our responsibilities that come from elsewhere. It's not our fault, not at all.
on remembering where it all began
It has been an incredibly long time since I picked up this notebook. I used to spend hours, once a week nestled within its pages, but somehow I was surprised at how many pages were filled with my words when I opened it back up this morning. I forgot how often I found my way here, sharing whatever truth was in my heart that day. I’m realising that the key for my not having shown up here for so long, most likely lies in the fact that I think I lost sight of why I truly wrote here at all.
on coming home
have not logged onto this site in a scary amount of time, have not felt able to for so many reasons. I didn’t really know if I had anything to say. I had been so proud of myself for the way I had been showing up here, as often as I did and for how long I kept it up for. But that pride has also kept me away for a long time too. I have been scared that if I did try to come here again and see if I had something I might want to share with you, that it might be short lived. That maybe I would not make it back here for a long time again.
on creating rituals
