I’ve been struggling the past few weeks to decide what it is I want to write about here. I’ve struggled to know what I want to say, I’ve lost sense of what my voice is. There’s been a lot going on in my personal life and so the idea of baring my soul to the internet filled me with a huge rush of resistance. I’ve wanted to hide, to nest and build a cocoon around myself to keep out all of these heavy emotions I’ve been feeling. I was pressuring myself to have something profound and useful to say and when I tried to come up with something, anything that I had the energy to discuss that fell under that category I came up empty handed. I forgot that I could just be honest. I forgot that I can make my own rules about what I feel is worthy of discussion. And so this week all I want to do is be honest. To be authentic. That’s what I named this site after all. I started it with an intention of having open, honest conversations about life and creativity. To show up as the unfinished project that I am and to stop pretending to be anything other than that. I want this to be a space you come to to feel less alone this confusing, messy journey we’re all undertaking. I want it to be a reminder that we’re all imperfect humans trying to figure things out and anyone who makes you feel otherwise is a fraud. None of us will ever figure things out completely. There is always more to learn, new questions with answers to be found. The sooner we all understand and embrace that the better.

I think there’s so much pressure in our society to know what we’re doing with our lives. To settle into them and find consistency, find a box to fit ourselves into, to keep everything neat and tidy and contained. To be the picture of composure and consistency. I reject that with my entire being. The day we succumb to such pressure is the day we forget what life is truly about. Our childhood is spent growing and exploring the world around us. The older we become the more we lose this sense of curiosity towards both ourselves and our surroundings. We suddenly begin to reject change in those around us, we expect people to stay the same, to stay in the box we put them in. We try and make it all neat and tidy, to create an order to things that is impossible to maintain. Life is messy. Things happen that cause us to grow and evolve and change. We feel things strongly, loudly. We mess up, we make mistakes and we learn from them. We take two steps forward and five steps back. And we’re all just learning as we go. Fumbling along, learning from those around us, taking notes and trying things out for ourselves. Life is just a series of lessons one after the other. Our education does not end the day we graduate from the education system. We learn every day of our lives. we learn from the people we spend time with, the things we consume - nutritionally, emotionally, mentally - the things we choose to do and the places we choose to do them in. It all impacts our experience on this earth. It teaches us something about what those experiences mean. Sometimes what we are taught allows us to expand and grow into a more aligned versions of ourselves. But other times what we are taught causes us to shrink and hide parts of ourselves, leaving wounds and patterns of thoughts and behaviours that hinder our growth and ability to find that sense of alignment with our true self. Deciphering the difference between these lessons can be exhausting, a full time job in and of itself. it can be isolating, lonely work. And that’s why I write here. For you and for me. For us all to feel a little less alone on this journey back into alignment, of learning and unlearning all we’ve ever known. This metaphorical smashing of the reset button and rewriting all these stories we’ve been told that are hurting us, shrinking us smaller and making us believe we are not worthy or capable of attaining all that we long for.

I write because I want you to know you are worthy. You are capable. You are a pure soul that has so much magic to share with the world. I write because I am too. We all have a light to shine within us and yet so often we feel so unseen, so unheard that we become afraid to let it out. I write to remind you that the world needs your light just as much as it needs mine. I write to remind you that there are things that you can do in a way only you know how. I write to remind you that how you show up in this world will change so many people’s lives for the better. I write to remind you how many souls you will touch and spark alight simply by showing up as yourself and doing your thing. I write to remind you that sometimes things are hard, that sometimes rest and care is more productive than work, that you have to learn to listen to your body and all the wisdom it is trying to share with you. I write to remind you that your productivity does not determine your worth, to remind you that you cannot pour outwards forever, that your cup will eventually empty and need to be lovingly refilled. I write to remind you that in honouring your body you are honouring your soul. caring for it, nourishing it not only serves you but everyone around you. I write to remind you that honouring your rhythms and seasons is not laziness or disorganisation or making excuses, it is the natural way of things that we have unfortunately forgotten. I write to remind you to slow down and take your time, to truly live in presence in this life of yours. And I write to remind myself of these things too.

I write because I don’t think I can ever stop. It would be like being unable to breathe. This practice, this outlet is what lights me up inside. It is a pouring of my soul onto the page that fills me with a sense of purpose that little else does. I denied that for so long, lost touch with this form of creativity in favour of another. And as much as I loved my time studying design, as much as it taught me many things about myself and the world around me; this imbalance, this abandonment of other creative practices left me feeling drained and empty of inspiration that I’m only just now starting to regain. I’ve learnt that I need to find balance between all of my passions. To give them space to ebb and flow naturally, to accept the seasons in which my inspiration, passion and creativity naturally pass through. I tried to fit myself into a box labelled ‘designer’. But the truth is that I fit into so many boxes. And I’m sure you do too. I hope that in my embracing this confusing jumble of titles that I am learning to claim, that I can encourage you to do the same. To refuse to choose only one box, only one version of yourself to maintain for the rest of your life. To continue your learning and expansion beyond the day you graduate. To strive for a life that is authentic and aligned with what sets you alight, what makes your heart sing and your soul soar, what makes you feel most alive. However that might look for you, because I’m sure it will be different to how it looks for me. And that is one of the most wonderful things about life. How unique we all are. I hope that one day we can throw out all those boxes and learn to embrace the beauty in that diversity.

if you want to hear more about my journey towards a more authentic existence, follow me on instagram @the.authenticity.project and on medium . see my photography work on instagram @s.ophiea.lice and connect with me on linkedin.

big love to you all x