happy friday friends ! Long time no see. Life has upped in pace a little in the last couple of weeks and I didn’t have the time or energy to write a post last week. I could easily have beaten myself up about this, berating myself for not having been more organised in advance, having known that a more packed schedule was on it’s way. But instead I chose to take a week off, allow myself to adjust to the increased pace of my life and embrace the rest with grace and kindness towards myself. A couple of months ago I would have really struggled to do so, so having been able to give myself that space feels pretty damn good.

So what’s been happening ? The suspense must be killing you all. I finally managed to find another job, and as of last week I returned to the glamorous life of working in retail. You know, exactly the kind of job I expected to be working post graduation. But to be honest, it’s nice to have somewhere to go however many times a week in which I know exactly what is expected of me. The work is laid out for me in tasks and responsibilities that do not require me to find the motivation to rally myself along. I just show up and do it all and then I get to go home. I think it’s very easy to get caught up in shame and disappointment over having to take any job that comes your way, in desperation to earn enough just to live. I don’t know about anyone else but I kind of thought I’d have my shit together more than I do a year after graduating. And yet surprisingly I’m pretty excited about this new development in my life. Its given me a way to meet new people in the city I’ve called my home for 10 months now and in which I have only made a couple of true friends. Moving somewhere during lockdown can make it pretty difficult to get yourself out there. So, this new workplace is not only giving me a break from worrying about procrastination and perfectionism from my bigger goals and work I want to pursue but I’m hoping it will expand my network here in Copenhagen beyond the meagre reach I’ve had up until now.

sometimes I forget how young I still am. Having a degree under your belt and being thrust into the ‘real world’ will do that to you. I forget how many years of life I have ahead of me to fill with whatever I choose. I forget that I have no need to rush any of it. If I’m not careful I’ll miss it all. I wish there wasn’t all this pressure to figure it all out as quickly as you can, I wonder if I’m the only one that feels it. This intense need to make the most of every second, to be productive and smart with my time, to not waste a single minute. And simultaneously hating that need with every fibre of my being. I want so badly to just reject that narrative of productivity and hustle and yet most of the time I can’t quite let go. My grip refuses to loosen completely for fear of the silence that takes over when you allow all the noise to fall away. I imagine that that silence is peaceful, allows you to listen clearly to what is inside of yourself for maybe the first time in your life. Im working on loosening that grip. Im working on letting go and embracing the chapter of life I am in, without rush or panic that I should be elsewhere. I have a whole life ahead of me, filled with potential and promise. There are places I haven’t been and people I haven’t met, things I haven’t tried and things I haven’t learnt yet. So in this chapter of my life I am learning how to just be. To be present and grateful and aware and graceful in as many moments as I can. To open my mind and my heart to all that may come my way, to embrace all the possibility that washes over me each and every day. I might not know where I will be a year, five years, ten years from now. I could still be working in retail, having the time of my life. I could be in another city, another country, another continent. I may speak new languages, walk new roads and do new things. Only time will tell. Im excited to see what lies ahead for me. I hope you learn to see your life with this perspective too, my friends. Life becomes a lot less overwhelming when you do.

Have a marvellous weekend.

if you want to hear more about my journey towards a more authentic existence, follow me on instagram @the.authenticity.project and on medium . see my photography work on instagram @s.ophiea.lice and connect with me on linkedin.

big love to you all x