I have always struggled with the idea of people accepting my true self, i’ve always watered myself down for everyone, the only person i’ve ever felt I can be truly me around is myself and even that is fleeting. I’m slowly but surely changing that though. I used to be the person that kept her head down at all times, even in the smallest acts such as walking down the street. I did whatever I could to make sure I wasn’t drawing attention to myself in any way. over time this need to hide has slowly been dissolving but it’s not completely gone and i’m not sure it ever will be.

someone said to me in my first weeks here in copenhagen that I needed to stop apologising for being a person that exists in the world, stop hesitating to take up space and making myself smaller in every facet of my life. They said I needed to learn how to walk into a room with my shoulders back and my head held high, demanding the presence I deserve. At the time the idea of such a thing felt impossible, I didn’t even know what needed to be done to gain that kind of confidence. If there’s one thing I’ve struggled to acclimatise to in this culture I thrust myself into is how direct and unapologetic Danes are. A bit of a culture shock for someone who grew up in the nation teased for their excessive apologies even for things that are not our fault. This behaviour does not exist here. People say exactly what they mean without fluff or beating around the bush. They demand what they deserve without apology or softening. They unapologetically take up space and move at their own pace, which in most situations is admirable but can often be frustrating when that manifests in the form of taking up the whole pavement while walking at a snails pace. I digress. This way of moving through life has led me to reflect on the reasons that hold me back from behaving in this way. It all comes back to this hesitancy to take up any space at all. This apologising for being a person that exists and has wants and needs. I’ve watered myself down for so long, feared being an inconvenience or a burden to anyone that i’ve buried the parts of myself that were ‘too much’, ‘too different’, ‘too me’ to allow the world to see. But in doing so I was also refusing to accept myself for who I am as well. What I am coming to learn through a spiritual practice of commitment to coming into alignment with who I am, journalling and an active unlearning of all the ways things ‘should’ be is this : the most self serving and yet selfless thing you can do for yourself and those around you is to radically accept you, truly, deeply, unapologetically.

forget what everyone else thinks of you and focus on what you think of you.

when you begin to see and embrace all the beauty and light that radiates from your being, from your soul, others will be able to see it too. It will attract people into your life that truly see you, embrace you, because you did the work to truly see and embrace yourself. I was walking down the street the other day and I suddenly noticed I was walking with my head held high and my shoulders back as if it were the most natural thing in the world. a small miracle. it just goes to show that the true magic happens when you take the time to take care of your mind, body and soul, your energy changes, everything aligns and you finally let go of this need to hide yourself away from the world. I haven’t been sat doing exercises to improve my posture or actively monitoring the way I walk, this was not a focussed effort to walk straighter. What I have been doing is tuning into my body through intentional movement almost every day, I’ve been tuning into my mind through journalling and reading and I’ve been tuning into my soul through meditation. It is a byproduct of the effort I have put in to come home to myself as often as I can. an active effort to get to know myself, accept myself, love myself. when you actively do the work to shed all those layers of protection and societal conditioning, to unlearn all that does not serve your growth and highest potential and to actively connect with who you are underneath it all, you begin to move through life differently. a weight lifts from your being and you become more grounded, more rooted in your truth. you learn to see things as they really are instead of worrying about tripping on the cracks on the path beneath your feet. You learn to trust the way you move through each moment with grace and authenticity. it’s such a gradual process, this unlearning, this path of deeper knowing of yourself and the world around you but it is one that leads to subtle, nuanced growth that permeates everything. the further along this path you venture, the closer you are to coming home to yourself. it takes patience, determination and grit to demolish and rebuild the foundations of your very being. it can, at times, feel as though you’re making more mess than progress.

but one day you’ll be walking down the street and be hit with the realisation that the way you hold yourself is different, a sign of how far you’ve come. everything that is truly worth the work takes time and patience. all you can do is keep showing up for yourself and surrender to the trust that it will lead everything to fall into place. because it will, eventually.

if you want to hear more about my journey towards a more authentic existence, follow me on instagram @the.authenticity.project and on medium . see my photography work on instagram @s.ophiea.lice and connect with me on linkedin.

big love to you all x